Recently the Lord has been opening my eyes more and more to my utter weakness and need for Him. This sounds great, but trust me, it is a grueling process, although totally worth it.
When speaking about the weakness of humans Dana Candler said, "How we must not evade it, deny it or ignore it, but rather acknowledge and embrace it." This is what I want to do in this season, no matter what the cost. But do I really? If I did then when the option of humility looked at me directly in the face I would choose to embrace it, but currently I do not want to do that every time and am asking the Lord for patience and grace.
The world is telling us the exact opposite of what the culture of Jesus' kingdom should be. I am writing this because I have been experiencing a unique wrestle with it recently, and honestly, I am a little tired of it. Just as Paul said, I do what I don't want to do and I don't want to do what I do. Life has interesting dynamics, both good and bad, but I want to get to the place to where I live my life the same even when no one is looking. When living in the midst of the pressures of life and expectations of men (especially doing ministry stuff), I want to be able to set my gaze and live my life before the eyes of one Man, no matter the situation. He is worth it and worthy of all my heart all of the time.
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