Recent Events

Here's a brief update (and a random picture I took in Israel).

This semester has been difficult but great. I don't think there has been a time in my life where I have grown and learned more spiritually, practically, and academically. I was stretched more than I knew I could handle, but (of course) the Lord showed me His faithfulness. He helped me when I was in need.

In May I moved in with 3 guys who have grown to be my closest friends (John Bush, Caleb Hughes, and Steve Gilliam). We have had a blast living together, but more than that we started a home group type meeting on Monday nights that has been really powerful for our campus. Each week we have close to 60 students pack into our house and worship the Lord together. It was a great opportunity to learn about the Lord and discipleship. I also think I might have started doing something that is part of my future/calling... Teaching.

I taught 2 of our meetings and realized that it really is something that I love. I had a couple opportunities to teach when I was in high school, but at the time I didn't realize it was a gift/talent that I had, I was just doing it because of the role I was in. The Lord has given me a passion to teach/preach the bible and see people fall in love with Him. I am looking forward to more opportunities in the coming months.

Another recent update (that not many people know) is that I am actually finishing school a YEAR early. I will graduate with my Undergraduate in Theology in May! That's exciting. I have some thoughts about what I will do afterwards, but nothing definite yet. In the end there are 2 things I have on my heart to do: 1) minister to the Lord in some sort of House of Prayer setting (not necessarily IHOP), and 2) teach the bible. Right now I do not know the steps that the Lord will use to get me to those two desires, but He put them in my heart close to 5 years ago, and after waiting, the desire to do them has only grown. This proverb describes it best:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

This verse has vast eternal implications, but practically in my life I have hope to one day sit defore the Lord and gaze at His beauty night and day praying for His justice on the earth. For the past few years this hope has been deferred, but I am believing and trusting the Lord to bring it to pass as a tree of life.

One thing I have desired of the LORD, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in His temple. Psalm 27:4

My soul longs, yes, even faints For the courts of the LORD; My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Psalm 84:2

Dependency

Recently the Lord has been opening my eyes more and more to my utter weakness and need for Him. This sounds great, but trust me, it is a grueling process, although totally worth it.

When speaking about the weakness of humans Dana Candler said, "How we must not evade it, deny it or ignore it, but rather acknowledge and embrace it." This is what I want to do in this season, no matter what the cost. But do I really? If I did then when the option of humility looked at me directly in the face I would choose to embrace it, but currently I do not want to do that every time and am asking the Lord for patience and grace.

The world is telling us the exact opposite of what the culture of Jesus' kingdom should be. I am writing this because I have been experiencing a unique wrestle with it recently, and honestly, I am a little tired of it. Just as Paul said, I do what I don't want to do and I don't want to do what I do. Life has interesting dynamics, both good and bad, but I want to get to the place to where I live my life the same even when no one is looking. When living in the midst of the pressures of life and expectations of men (especially doing ministry stuff), I want to be able to set my gaze and live my life before the eyes of one Man, no matter the situation. He is worth it and worthy of all my heart all of the time.

Successful

Throughout Christianity it seems like we have distorted the truth of what it means to be successful in our life with God. When we serve and give in ministries we usually don't primarily do it for the people. Most times we are not confident in who we are before the Lord and so we serve in order to prove ourselves to God. This is completely wrong. The truth is that God is in love with us and we don't have to prove anything to Him.

With this truth in place we can now serve people with a pure motivation instead of having the secondary purpose of trying to gain God's favor. This truth has started to rock me. I have been trying to serve in this way and it makes life so much easier. It makes it to where we want to serve people because we are doing it while delighting in the father.

SO GOOD!

Faith

I was doing some reading and came across a fantastic quote by Jonathan Wesley that I thought would be good to blog. Check this out:

"Pride had already destroyed the very angels of God. It was likewise in great measure owing to this, when the tempter said, 'Ye shall be as gods' (gen 3:5), that Adam fell from his own steadfastness and brought sin and death into the world. It was therefore an instance of wisdom worthy of God to appoint such a condition of reconciliation for him and all his posterity as might effectually humble, might abase them to the dust. And such is faith. It is peculiarly fitted for this end, for he that cometh unto God by this faith must fix his eye singly on his own wickedness, on his guilt and helplessness, without having the least regard to any supposed good in himself, to any virtue or righteousness whatsoever. He must come as mere sinner, inwardly and outwardly, self-destroyed and self-condemned, bringing nothing to God but ungodliness only, pleading nothing of his own but sin and misery. Thus it is, and thus alone, when his "mouth is stopped," and he stands utterly 'guilty before God' that he can 'look unto Jesus,' as the whole and sole 'propitiation for his sins.'"

Wow. I want to be humble.

Hunger

Wow. Life with Jesus is an interesting thing. It seems that the longer we are in this relationship and the more that it seems we should know, the less we actually feel we know. As we continue to go on it is like our capacity for hunger increases and we are never satisfied. A good friend phrase it this way, "When you ask God to fill you up He does, but at the same time he expands the capacity of what you hold." So it is like we are filled, but now we still are full because he filled our hearts, then he expanded them. (I am not sure if that makes since to you, but it did to me).

As humans we are in utter need of God to come through for us. We have to depend on Him for every little aspect of our life.

Here is one more little nugget. I have been looking at the B-Attitude in matthew 5 a good bit lately. These statements are critical in Gods Kingdom. They are things that are really precious to His heart. As I was reading them there was one thing that was really highlighted to me. First, to an extent these can happen in this age, but I feel like a big point of these is to contrast the to ages. For example, when it says, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." This is primarily pointing to the age to come when we will be completely comforted. The point is that we are supposed to mourning for Jesus today because He is not with us. Jesus also says this in matthew 9:15.

I have also been seeing an interesting comparison between the prophet Jeremiah and Jesus' definition of the Kingdom. But that will be my next post, hopefully.

Have an excellent day!!!